Member Testimonial: Sandy Kozik

Hi my name is Sandy and I'm a Unitarian. I am also a teaching artist, a Christmas designer, a sometimes actor, and a retired circus clown and I love a good metaphor.

When I worked for a traveling tented circus, my mentor was the ringmaster and former clown Jimmy James. He was very tall and very wide--portly is the word he liked. One day I was telling him about how mad I was that someone had come up to me on the circus lot and given me a religious tract and when I tried to return it because I said I just didn't believe I was going to the hell described for various reasons listed in the tract, we had an argument. Jimmy told me what he always tells the tract hander-outers and the like.

He takes the person'shand and holds it and says he's glad they are happy doing what they are doing, but that he feels as strongly as they do about his spiritual belief. And that it is actually a very personal thing to him, much like keeping one's bible in the drawer of the bedside table. It's personal and he knows it's there when he needs it and cherishes those special moments when he opens that very personal drawer. The person is usually left speechless, giving one time to walk away while they ponder that moment and perhaps question a different way of believing.

Growing up, my parents took me to many different churches so see what we could see and I mainly remembered the smells of clean St. John's Episcopal, the incense of several Catholic churches, and the sometimes scary images in the stained glass and sculptures.

For the child who decided the Santa Claus story might just be a bit far-fetched at four years old, but who none-the-less LOVES the idea of Santa and trees and Christmas spirit, I guess I just feel that religion or spirituality doesn’t need scary images and guilt and maybe should make sense for modern times.

So why this church? Well, back in the late 50's early 60's, my mom heard artist and church member Burton Callicott speak about his beliefs of the hereafter and how bodies didn't rise up from caskets out of the ground and stuff. It was more like the energy from us turns into some sort of a light force. She imagined it to be like a space full of different beams of beautiful light, all different colors and intensities that could pulse, glow, get stronger and communicate with one another. Notice on your way out how Mr. Callicott used light in that painting that hangs in the back of the sanctuary.

So this made my mom start taking me to the First Unitarian Church—which was then on Bellevue across from Central High School—because it suddenly seemed to make sense that one could be in a church where people could have different visions of what it all means and not chastise one another for thinking differently. Apparently, Mr. Callicott was able to open his bedside table drawer, too, and share.

This church allows me the freedom to QUESTION. In my work in non-profit arts education, I love the aesthetic education process developed by Maxine Green and the Lincoln Center Institute.

• Noticing Deeply: To identify and articulate layers of detail in a work of art through continuous interaction with it over time.
• Embodying: To experience a work of art through your senses, as well as emotionally, and also to physically represent that experience.
• Questioning: To ask questions throughout your explorations that further your own learning; to ask the question, "What if?"
• Making Connections: To connect what you notice and the patterns you see to your prior knowledge and experiences, as well as to others' knowledge and experiences…
• Identifying Patterns: To find relationships among the details you notice, group them, and recognize patterns.
• Exhibiting Empathy: To respect the diverse perspectives of others in our community, to understand the experiences of others emotionally as well as in thought.
• Living With Ambiguity: There does not have to be a yes or no answer for everything. Sometimes you just have to wait and see.
• Creating Meaning: To create your own interpretations based on the previous capacities, see these in the light of others in the community, create a synthesis, and express it in your own voice.
• Taking Action: To act on the synthesis of what you have learned in your explorations through a specific project. This includes projects in the arts, as well as in other realms…
• Reflecting/Assessing: To look back on your learning, continually assess what you have learned, assess/identify what challenges remain, and assess/identify what further learning needs to happen. This occurs not only at the end of a learning experience but is part of what happens throughout that experience. It is also not the end of your learning; it is part of beginning to learn something else.

Imagine my fear as a teacher in our Sunday School, when we were requested to us the actual “BIBLE STORIES” one year. It was actually enlightening—the lesson plans were not that different from our other Tapestry of Faith lesson plans. There is a story, a pondering/questioning discussion time, and art activity or exploration to help us embody the story more personally.

So when we did Noah's ark, the lady turning into salt, and others that I have a hard time imagining why intelligent grown-ups believe word for word…. well, the students helped me (often in their own disbelief) reflect on the metaphors involved. And your kids still do that for me on a weekly basis.

So my final metaphor is this this: while listening to TED TALKS on NPR recently, they had several scholarly grown-ups talking about time and existence and where it all started, etcetera. One person said that our world or solar system is like a roll of toilet paper. If we were to roll it out all the way from end to end as a reference of time... then take the last little sheet and measure just a few centimeters of it…. that is how long we have been here. Which made me once again ponder how other grown-ups can be so adamant about one book and believe everything in it literally, word for word, and not question just because that’s the way they have always done it?

Why is the Church of the River important to me?

Because it's like practicing yoga, or exercising one's brain, or why I believe in the aesthetics of Apple products as opposed to something cheaper, or just sitting quietly getting to look out the sanctuary windows and feeling accepted. It's the freedom of religion that happens here, and the capacities of learning that can be practiced at each one’s own pace without fear of ridicule.

As a child, whenever they passed the little offering bags, I always put at least a quarter in, even though I didn't have much money, but I figured it would help pay for a brick or something. So, on that note, let's pitch in what we can so that we can continue this journey together. I'm closing my drawer now. Thanks for listening.